ICYMI: More Teen Mom News!

Yes, the recap of the Teen Mom 2 reunion is still in the works! But there’s just so much Teen Mom news I’m having a hard time keeping up.

If I missed anything let me know in the comments below. Let’s get rolling!



Farrah Abraham and Simon Saran are “on a break”

Who else is upset by this? Just me? I mean, honestly I just want to keep Simon around for the lulz, so these people better get their shit together. Simon claims that Farrah is a totally different person when filming, so he just has to take a break.

Meanwhile, Farrah has officially RSVPed to Amber Portwood’s wedding invite. (Yes, Amber seriously invited every cast member from both Teen Mom OG and Teen Mom 2).

“They lie and they need to stop using me to get attention for their wedding and book,” Farrah told Radar Online. “I want nothing to do with their criminal behavior or lying evil groups of people they associate with.” She ended by saying “I’m happy both the scam artists can be a happily married criminal couple!”

It looks like Simon RSVPed “Maybe” when he told Radar Online “I haven’t been to a circus in a while, it could be fun!”

Javi “Puta” Marroquin has a “book deal,” sort of

It’s no longer just lip flapping. Javi Marroquin has a legit “book deal” with a legit publisher. Actually, wait. It’s not that legit. Javi is working with a place called 13th & Joan. I checked out their website, and this place is one of those pay-to-print deals. They offer what they laughably call “print and publishing services” for which they will actually charge Javi. The prices listed include packages that range from $750 to $2750 and higher. As someone with insider experience, I can tell you that no legit publisher does this, guys. In fact, legit publishers often give the author a check upfront as part of their advance on royalty payments. No two ways about it, this is a vanity press.

Poor Javi. He’s getting Heartlessly Hustled again.

It's official! I just signed with @13thandjoan Publishing to get my book done! All I can say is stay tuned!

A post shared by Javi Marroquin (@javim9) on


Matt Baier’s book leak deleted

So I’ve mentioned in three articles (here and here and also here) how the parody Twitter account Amber L. Porkwood posted leaks from Matt Baier’s upcoming book. In turn, Matt Baier tweeted Starcasm–who also ran with the leaks–saying they were “fake.” Lo and behold, the book leak images are now removed from Twitter after the publisher filed a copyright claim. So it must have been the Real McCoy guys!

If you’ll recall, Matt’s book took particular aim at one of his exes named Kelli Nunn, but don’t worry! She has fired back. She has posted screenshots of her e-mails and text messages with Matt to prove things he said in the book leak are a lie. She is currently verifying them with The Ashley, who I expect will post a story soon.

I found this one particularly grating. “Burgahs?” He seriously writes out his accent?

matt baier baby mama

Nathan Griffith photoshops his body to look bigger?

Question mark? I mean, this photo is clearly photoshopped, judging from the funhouse door behind him, but I am speculating on the purpose. I’ll leave the final judgment to you guys.

nathan griffith body

Jenelle Evans planning her wedding

Yes, Jenelle is planning to tie  the knot this fall, which doesn’t leave time for a lot of intricate planning. She told E! News that she’s aiming for a small, intimate ceremony (no co-stars allowed!) located at… wait for it…. a church.

Of course, no modern wedding can go without a campy theme, so she’s designing “backyard rustic theme” that she further described as “elegant, sweet and Southern.” She also plans to dress shop where else but New York City. (I haven’t left my county in like 6 months, guys. I don’t know how she does this shit.)

Jenelle also told them she’s not sure if her mother Barbara Evans will be invited.


  1. Williejonesjr says:

    I enjoy reading the book leaks. Matt clearly lives in another universe and its refreshing to hear his tales from there.

    Oh Nathan. Does this have anything to do with p-buggate?

    Pls MTV, film this weddin!

    Farrah & Simon will get back together. He needs the paycheck & the fame.

  2. #LifeAfterLeah says:

    Puta’s book is the only one that I have had any interest in reading. Here’s to hoping he doesn’t pull out the parts he wrote while he was pissed at Kail & hopefully Kail doesn’t gag him with legal issues and we for once get the real dirt.

    I can’t even take Nathan seriously. I legit just found out he calls his penis a “p-bug” like WTF! I know guys have awful nicknames for their junk (my classy and super mature husband refers to his as “the tontsil tickler”..) but that has to be the worst 100%! Girls don’t name their vaginas do they? I’ve never heard it.

    All the people Matt has conned should get together and start a book club where they read his book and then give the real stories. Matt is and always will be a skeezy slimy bastard IMO. Nothing he will ever do will be good enough to make up for all the bad.

    Farrah and Simon…

    I don’t even know nor do I really care.

  3. Ambien says:

    I 2nd MTV please film jenelles crazy wedding. She’s imagining the children being like the Von trapp children all standing in line like angels….. hahaha. I think not inviting her MOTHER would be a real mistake and one she would regret someday. Or not because not one of her multiple personalities has any love or respect for Barb. Javi- is this true? You are paying to print and publish a book about your break up? You were in a low point before? This seems pathetic. Although I hate kail and think she’s a skanky witch and I would love to hear his side, maybe he’s doing this the wrong way.

    • Leah's Meth Pipe says:

      Maybe she’s just sticking with the trend. She didn’t invite Babs to her first wedding either.

  4. chelseas annoying baby voice says:

    Have you guys read this blind item??
    One group of readers will love this blind and another group will just click the next button. Those of you who are on board, will really love this one. After this MTV reality star made her first stop in LA at a house for the second straight time, I started asking about it. Previously I thought it was just a guy who produced porn. He does produce porn, a lot of in fact. He also is a pimp in the sense he will connect porn stars with people who can afford to date them and then take a little cut. Anyway, one of his biggest money makers is selling drugs to celebrities. Yes, our reality star wanted to do porn. Yes, she was told it would have to be with a partner because she wouldn’t pass talent testing at that time. Yes, he was happy to sell her drugs to last for her visit. So, each time she has returned to town she has made the trek to the dealer. Her order has grown exponentially each time. Not only is she using pretty heavily now after a short break, but her significant other is up to his eyeballs in addiction and he spends her money like water when it comes to buying drugs.

    Out of town and with a huge supply of drugs to get them through three days they head to their hotel. One of the people I know at the hotel said all was quiet at check in and even up to four hours after check in. It was then, that things began to go downhill in a hurry. The noise complaints were first. First, from the room next door, then the room beneath them. At this point it was just loud music and a video game being played at a volume of 100. Apparently the couple started watching porn and had the volume up on that to 100.

    The front desk called and the noise quieted down. For a few hours. Later that night there was arguing and screaming and furniture being tossed around. That, according to the room’s neighbors who called to complain once again. Oh, a side note. It was 4am.

    The “star” has red marks all over her neck and arms and even face when she emerged the next day. Her significant other was there with his arm around her neck. They started looking at some brochures in the lobby and he grabbed her to kiss her. When she tried to pull away he grabbed her even harder and stuck both his hands down her pants from behind. When she resisted again, he grabbed her face and shoved his tongue down her throat. She pushed him away.

    Later in the day, when they came back, she was begging him to please forgive her and promised to buy him the boat he wanted if he would just forgive her. That night was more of the same in the room. Noise complaints and partying. The time was close to dawn. For the next 24 hours, no one left the room. There was no noise. Not a peep. My spy was at her house when she heard there had been no noise for almost an entire day and evening and actually said to herself and her roommate that she wouldn’t be surprised if the pair had died of an overdose.

    Nope. They emerged the next day and were the happiest they had been since checking in. It was like none of the past few days had happened. Five hours later they were back. Having paid another trip to the dealer, they bought enough to last two weeks. It has been downhill from there. Fights and broken furniture. Pipes and the remnants of plastic wrapped needles. The stench in the room was apparently overpowering and might never be the same. At one point, our “star” had a bloody lip and looked like she had been slapped on that side of the face from the mouth to the eye. They spent thousands of dollars on room service and complained because their employer had only agreed to pick up $500 of the total.



    I once said that Jenelle deserved a smack in the face (preferably from a woman, not a guy) but I’ll gladly take those words back because this is kinda horrible.

    I feel kinda sorry for her.. I do wish she would focus on her damn kids instead of ‘manipulative and abusive men that clearly use her.

    • ThreeByThree says:

      Wow!!! I cana totally see that being Jenelle. She just clearly does not know what constitutes a good man, it really is kind of sad… And now she has kids she’s setting that example for.

  5. chelseas annoying baby voice says:

    Why is my comment awaiting moderation again?
    Because I posted a link??

  6. ColeAteMyCereal says:

    If barb doesn’t get invited do you think she will let Jace go?

    • #LifeAfterLeah says:

      There isn’t a chance in hell that Barbra would let Jace go if she wasn’t invited.
      Janelle gets her pettiness from someone…

    • Nathan's P-bug says:

      I really doubt Barbara would let Jace go without her being there.
      I think Barbara is a better parent to Jace than Jenelle could be, but I honestly don’t think either Jenelle or Barbara have Jace’s best interest at heart. They both just want him so the other one can’t have him. It’s like they are playing tug-of-war and Jace is the rope. So very sad for Jace.

    • LittleBelle says:

      I was going to ask this very question. Crazy thing is Jelly probably hasn’t thought about this part of the equation. She’s so wrapped up in being petty to Barbs that she may not realize no Barbs, no Jace.

  7. Rubi says:

    It’s tough to locate knowledgeable people today on this topic, but you sound like you know what you’re talking about! Thanks


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