All of you baby-crazy ladies & gents better prepare your emotions for the new season of Teen Mom 2, which promises to contain some serious pregnancy and birth action. Oh, and a new cast member!
Sneak peeks for the upcoming season so far have been a bit of a snooze fest, but today Radar released an article about one of them in particular that hints toward some of that Mama Drama that we are all so hopelessly addicted to. In it, we see a pregnant Kailyn Lowry FaceTiming her friend Kristen (who is in Kail’s phone as “Soul Sister”, which 14-year old me would’ve found adorable) about Chris Lopez a.k.a. Baby Daddy No. 3 a.k.a. I Can Barely Keep These Guys Straight.
Kail seems annoyed as she discusses Lopez not wanting to film or have his name mentioned in the show. Then she drops this like it’s nothing: “He probably just like… he doesn’t want his other hoes to know about me.”
Soul Sister responds “Playa playa!” and cringing viewers are left wondering if they are serious.
On the one hand, it wouldn’t be shocking, since Kailyn has a history of making babies with jerks. Let’s not forget that even Jo was kind of a butthead back in the day. One time he told Kail she didn’t deserve the sunshine and should live in a cave. That’s some cold shit, Jonathan.
But on the other hand, maybe it’s not true at all and Kail was just throwing shade. It’s hardly believable that a guy put a baby in a uterus that has been on TV for seven years, and now thinks he can have “hoes” who don’t know about it. The hoes know, Chris! They always know!
Also, remember when Kail claimed this baby was planned? The Lopez Hoes Revelation adds a whole new dimension to that claim. If it’s true and the baby was planned, it means she purposefully got knocked up by a guy who she didn’t even know well enough to recognize that she was merely one of his Harem of Hoes. This only adds onto the messiness surrounding this pregnancy, which includes the fact that she was still married to Javi when it was “planned”.
The Hoes are only the first part of the Radar sneak peek! We don’t even have time to recover from this brief conversation when it cuts to a scene of Jo visiting and Kail looks up from her phone for long enough to share a couple of sentences. Kail says her divorce has been recently finalized after OVER A YEAR. Yikes. It’s hard to not feel bad for Kail’s boys Isaac & Lincoln, but she tells Jo she thinks they are taking it okay, and I guess we’ll see soon enough.
When Kail says she never wants to get married again and a producer asks her “what about relationships?” she responded in a way that made me uncontrollably roll my eyes for an hour:
“Don’t start with that bullshit… It’s such a not-solid situation that I just don’t want to discuss any of it on TV.”
Mmm, okay, but her profession is literally discussing things on TV. This is not the first or second or third time that Kailyn didn’t want to talk about basic aspects of her life for the camera and I don’t think I’m alone when I say I am so over it. The only reason she’s not a struggling single mother limping a rusty Ford Taurus to a rural Pennsylvania WalMart right now is because she gets pregnant, has baby daddy drama, & we are entertained by watching. It’s time for her to get her surgically-altered swollen ass in front of that camera & do her job.
But let’s be real: even if the season consists entirely of watching Kail’s bump grow & listening to her talk about how she doesn’t wanna talk… we’re gonna watch it when it airs on Monday night.